MCS Diaries

The Online Journal of a woman who suffers from Multiple Chemical Sensitivity (MCS)

Sunday, May 13, 2007

They Shoot Horses, Don't They?

Throughout the day I looked forward to meeting my friend for dinner at Charlie Brown's and seeing the new movie "Georgia Rule". As soon as we were seated at our table, I knew I was in trouble. The nausea began and the breathing difficulties. Then the migraine started, and my body began to tremble just a little bit. I've been going through this for 14 months now. I know what this means. My heightened sense of smell (olfactory sensitivity) made me well aware that the man seated at the table behind me had used an aftershave or cologne which contained highly concentrated amounts of formaldehyde. My skin began to burn. My left eye twitched. I couldn't help but wonder what my friend would say if we had to leave the restaurant. She is sympathetic to me, but she doesn't really understand my condition. I try to ignore the poisons, but I should know by now that that doesn't help. It never does. I'm getting sicker. I ask for water, and after asking for the second time, the server finally brings over a small glass. I ask my friend to switch seats with me so I can get further away from him. She's fine with that although she says, "I don't smell anything." Lucky Lorraine. I wish I didn't smell it, react to, get sickened by it. Although I have moved to the far side of our table, each time the air conditioning cycles on, his chemicals poison my world. Finally, he leaves. He has finished his meal. He is gone. Within minutes some of my symptoms begin to subside. He never knew that the simple act of his slapping the aftershave lotion on his face, the simple act made me overwhelmingly ill. They never seem to know, they never seem to care. I want to shake them. I want them to feel the way that I have to feel. I don't deserve this, and no one does. Inside I am saddened. I had been feeling better in recent months. I had felt like I was recovering. Sadly, I should have known better.

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